Hi!Friday, September 23, 2005
Silly names
I was just listening to the radio go on about hurricane names. Apparently, metereologists from around the world agree on hurricane names years in advance. Hurricanes are called cyclones when they form near the equator or in the Indian Ocean; and are called typhoons when they form in the western Pacific or in the China Sea. Talk about random! Why don't they get a special name for the Gulf of Mexico then? Maybe we could be talking about Spidercane Katrina. Spiderphoon? Spiderclone? Something about those names isn't quite right.
Anyway that got me thinking about silly names for countries. Inspired, an idea like a blossom of an apple tree, began growing in my fertile mind. So at this moment I would like to expound on those names which are the silliest of them all if you do not mind; and I am sure you don't.
1. The United States of America.
This is by far the silliest name of all. It's not a real name, it's a description of a place. Seriously, the founding fathers may have been political genii, but were desperately unimaginative when it came time to name the place. Thank God they didn't design the flag also; it would have probably been like Libya's flag but in blue. Depressing!
2. The United Kingdom.
What the shit, dudes? No wonder the USA's name sucks. I mean you have York; what do we have? New York. You have Jersey; we have New Jersey. Like colonial power, like independent nation.
3. United Arab Emirates.
You knew it was coming. You can't hide, so don't even try. HAHAHAAAA
Was that creepy?
4. El Salvador.
"El Salvador" means "The Saviour." Uh... yeah... why don't you just go ahead and name it "The Divine Republic of Our Lord"? Oh, wait, you can't do that, because that name is already taken... by...
5. Dominican Republic.
Hello! "God's Republic"? Hardly...
6. Colombia.
What were you thinking, Colombia? It's almost as if some country in Africa were named "Vasco da Gama." Well, you have been cursed with funny accents, and it serves you right, I say.
7. Ecuador.
Allowing the French to baptise you is worse than allowing the Spanish to do so. Thanks to this name, Ecuadorians everywhere suffer the same fate of no one knowing where the heck they come from, because the Equator is, after all, imaginary.
8. The Netherlands.
Literally, "The Low Countries." We all know that you are underwater, but is it really a point of pride for you all? Is that why your population is so insanely tall--so you can breathe a little better??! Oh I'm being mean... at least this name can be replaced with "Holland"; not so for your former colony in Africa...
9. South Africa.
You couldn't have called it "The Republic to Whom the Lands of the Southernmost Tip of Africa Belong"?
10. Central African Republic.
You all just didn't wanna give it the time of day right? When it came up you went with the easy answer. Well, sometimes the easiest answer isn't always the right answer, boys!!!
11. Western Sahara.
Oh brother... give me a break.
12. Guinea.
Do you know where this is? Of course you don't, and you know why? Because there are four countries in the world with the same name: Guinea, Guinea-Bissau (right next to it), Equatorial Guinea, and Papua New Guinea. Now you know where those damn guinea pigs come from! Oh... wait... no you don't.
That's it. This is obviously a very serious issue. I think we should do as the metereologists, in their infinite wisdom, have already done... call a worldwide conference of... whatever, and name new countries years in advance. That way when the next independence movement comes to life on the moon, or Antarctica, or whatever, the new country can just be assigned an appropriate pretty name, rather than having to rely on their bungling technocrats to name it something like "The United Republics of South-Western Mars." UGH. No, this horrible crisis can, and must be averted... I hereby call the First International Congress of New Country Name Givers... any takers??? ;p
Peter
Anyway that got me thinking about silly names for countries. Inspired, an idea like a blossom of an apple tree, began growing in my fertile mind. So at this moment I would like to expound on those names which are the silliest of them all if you do not mind; and I am sure you don't.
1. The United States of America.
This is by far the silliest name of all. It's not a real name, it's a description of a place. Seriously, the founding fathers may have been political genii, but were desperately unimaginative when it came time to name the place. Thank God they didn't design the flag also; it would have probably been like Libya's flag but in blue. Depressing!
2. The United Kingdom.
What the shit, dudes? No wonder the USA's name sucks. I mean you have York; what do we have? New York. You have Jersey; we have New Jersey. Like colonial power, like independent nation.
3. United Arab Emirates.
You knew it was coming. You can't hide, so don't even try. HAHAHAAAA
Was that creepy?
4. El Salvador.
"El Salvador" means "The Saviour." Uh... yeah... why don't you just go ahead and name it "The Divine Republic of Our Lord"? Oh, wait, you can't do that, because that name is already taken... by...
5. Dominican Republic.
Hello! "God's Republic"? Hardly...
6. Colombia.
What were you thinking, Colombia? It's almost as if some country in Africa were named "Vasco da Gama." Well, you have been cursed with funny accents, and it serves you right, I say.
7. Ecuador.
Allowing the French to baptise you is worse than allowing the Spanish to do so. Thanks to this name, Ecuadorians everywhere suffer the same fate of no one knowing where the heck they come from, because the Equator is, after all, imaginary.
8. The Netherlands.
Literally, "The Low Countries." We all know that you are underwater, but is it really a point of pride for you all? Is that why your population is so insanely tall--so you can breathe a little better??! Oh I'm being mean... at least this name can be replaced with "Holland"; not so for your former colony in Africa...
9. South Africa.
You couldn't have called it "The Republic to Whom the Lands of the Southernmost Tip of Africa Belong"?
10. Central African Republic.
You all just didn't wanna give it the time of day right? When it came up you went with the easy answer. Well, sometimes the easiest answer isn't always the right answer, boys!!!
11. Western Sahara.
Oh brother... give me a break.
12. Guinea.
Do you know where this is? Of course you don't, and you know why? Because there are four countries in the world with the same name: Guinea, Guinea-Bissau (right next to it), Equatorial Guinea, and Papua New Guinea. Now you know where those damn guinea pigs come from! Oh... wait... no you don't.
That's it. This is obviously a very serious issue. I think we should do as the metereologists, in their infinite wisdom, have already done... call a worldwide conference of... whatever, and name new countries years in advance. That way when the next independence movement comes to life on the moon, or Antarctica, or whatever, the new country can just be assigned an appropriate pretty name, rather than having to rely on their bungling technocrats to name it something like "The United Republics of South-Western Mars." UGH. No, this horrible crisis can, and must be averted... I hereby call the First International Congress of New Country Name Givers... any takers??? ;p
Peter
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Post
The next step is to figure out what happens if I attach a file... I imagine the bot will just discard it... but let's try it anyway. That's me in the picture ;)
Cheerio
Peter
Hello, world!
I am trying to see if this works... it probably won't... oh well...
(hey, what do you know, it worked ;)
