Hi!
Yeah...
It's nice to meet you too... uh I'm Spiderman

Avast ye landlubbers. I have duly come up with a list of annoying phrases and words that I consider unbearable to hear, and that therefore you are from now on prohibited from saying. Anyone uttering any of the following will be duly wrapped in Spidey-silk and cast off to the sharks!

D'you know what I mean

This phrase is SO 1997. Get over it. Also not permitted: Do you know what I mean, D'you know, You Know.

Vis-à-vis

If I catch you saying this, I will fill your mouth with Spidey-silk. Trust me, unless you are dating me, it is NOT sexy. Any word that sounds remotely French, or that requires an accent to be spelt "correctly" (with the exception of cliché, as explained below) will earn this honour from yours truly.

Jonesing

This is NOT a word. It is not English. If you say this, I will beat you with a small stick. If you want to say "want" without saying "want," just use the word "pine." Simple, elegant, classic, and oh yeah, ACTUAL ENGLISH. Next.

Kudos

OMFG. What is this? Israel? Where did you get this horrible, unpronounceable word? Don't ever say it again. Ever. I mean it.

Anything remotely resembling a cliché

Face it, clichés are stupid. Only stupid people use stupid thingies like clichés. Even the word "cliché" is a cliché. This, and the fact that it is French, should make it a double no-no. However, the fact remains that the English language sucks so much, that there is no proper English equivalent. So, until someone comes up with it (not me, that sounds like work), "cliché" will just have to do.

Mobile

IT'S A FUCKING CELLPHONE. NO ONE SAYS MOBILE. IT SOUNDS GAY.

# posted by Uh I'm Spiderman @ 17:14