Friday, December 02, 2005

 

On the Acronymisation of Life

Well, I was about to write about the origin and manufacture of paper. But then I remembered this slightly less interesting topic, the acronymisation of life, and decided to write about that instead. You would be amazed at what obscure subjects people are drawn to.

Anyway, I had been thinking of the constant acronymisation of things. It is quite a versatile way of hiding things. If I want to say "the Green Goblin is a big schmuck" without actually saying "the Green Goblin is a big schmuck," I can just say, "the GG is a big schmuck." That way, I get away with it and people know what I'm talking about but I can always just deny what I just said, claiming, "no, no, what I really said was the GIANT GUPPY is a schmig buck!" Ha! Ha!

As you can see, I enjoy acronyms. I like to say them out loud. I like to say each letter instead of the single-syllable word, just to annoy people! Like "BBQ." That's a stupid acronym. The real word, barbecue, has just as many syllables, and everyone knows that the acronym is unnecessary, superfluous, and useless. So, naturally, I say "BEE BEE QUEUE" every chance that I get!

Same goes for "radar," I just say "where is the ARE AYE DEE AYE ARE?" or for "scuba," "where is the submergible... crappy... underwater...... b... bathing? apparatus??!?"

I think I'll change my name to "P.P." so people can call in the streets, "what's up PEE PEE?"

Hmm. On second thought, no. Maybe Spidey can change to "S.M." But the truth is, "Spidey" just sounds so much cooler...

Oh well, time to eat dogs.


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